Sometimes I put on a smile for the world, when my insides are crying. I try to go through the motions of fitting in when I really feel like an alien in a foreign land. Disconnected and dishonest… I feel miserable! I feel like an “imitation Ann”… close to the real deal… just not quite “right”, ya know? So why do I continue to smile, smile, smile… when in reality I just want to cry?!
I guess it’s because I try to “Fake it til I make it”! Who wants to be around sadness, awkwardness and negativity anyways? Especially when I know others struggle with so much more… so I plaster on a smile and carry on.
Sometimes I can smile and respond “I’m good, and you?” and feel the brief relief of denial, but usually over time I end up feeling like a phony… and a bit guilty over…
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